hahahahaha, you know that feeling of just running up to someone, slapping them in the face and screaming “IN YOUR FACE!”? yeah well i wanted to do that soooo bad. hahaha. oh man. don’t even know how to explain it. sadly, i didn’t witness it- i miss all the exciting things. :o but anyways, i love seeing people that hurt me get hurt the same way they hurt me in the first place. it makes me so happy :’) oh, and then watching your ex get rejected multiple, multiple times is entertaining as well. i don’t think he’ll ever learn.. hehe i feel accomplished :)
FML. phone’s broken.
why do i say fml so much now? i love my life, i really do. despite all the horrible things that have happened, excuse my exaggeration, i really do love it. i love being single, because i can have fun. i love journalism, because they make me smile every morning, even when i’m still asleep. i love my family, because they go to lame things like the NHS induction ceremony for me. i love my friends, because they dgaf if i’m in a bad mood; they bring me up all the time. i love my dog, because i think she is the most understanding being there is. i love my smile, because i use it more than anything else in the world- even more than my voice.
well, Francois de La Rochefoucauld, if you are indeed correct, i love a lot. i don’t just love everyone a lot, though.. i love HIM a lot. but i can’t stand him? i want him. but i think he has the ugliest soul? i think he’s beautiful. but i laugh when i see him in pain? i want him to hug me. but i don’t want people to see me with him? that sounds mean.. but it’s not really how it sounds. i just feel like that would make me look and seem weak. but i am.. clearly. how could any girl love a man that hurt her so bad? one like me, who loses all the people she loves. i hate love. i love love. i love to hate love, because it makes me feel strong. but no one cares of how strong you are on the inside for forgiving someone; they only see how stupid you are for going back to all of your problems. but the truth is that i am my only problem. i made him hate me, and i made myself hate me. now i don’t hate me, and i don’t hate him. but i hate what i’ve done. hate, hate, hate. that hurts me. but i can’t stop saying it, thinking it, feeling it, wanting it. you’ve created me this way, i hope you know. and they know who they are. i just want you, because of who we are. remember saying i was the girl for you? well, i don’t know who you are then, because i’m still the same goddamn me. i miss you, so much. and it took me seven months to realize that. i guess you’ll never just come around.. until there’s something good for you. orrrrr, until you realize that i’m the only girl for you. because i think that’s pretty f*cking true. welcome to the real world. forgiveness is all it takes, and you’re the only victim here. come to me, bee. come.